It’s hard to believe it’s been an entire month since we moved into our little apartment, and almost a month since I started my full-time job!
I’m not going to tell you that it’s been the best month ever and that everything has perfectly fallen into place. I’m not going to tell you that over the last month we’ve easily adjusted to this HUGE change.
Because we haven’t.
I never thought that taking on a full-time position would wear me out the way it has. I never thought that I’m come home so mentally exhausted that conversing with Zach was a chore. I never thought that I’d spend 1-2 days a week ironing my clothes or that I’d plan out what I’d pack in my lunch or that I’d go to work and share crock pot recipes. I never thought I’d feel so grown-up and so adult-like. I never thought that taking a full-time position would mean that I’d be so exhausted when I got home that I’d push my business aside. I never thought that it would make me feel like such a failure as a business owner.
So, the truth is, it’s been hard. By the time I get home and get dinner done, I’m exhausted and have no energy to put forth in my business. I went from answering emails hours after receiving them to days after receiving them, barely having my blog posts together and prepped, and editing sessions a lot slower than usual.
On top of worrying about my business, I’ve worried so much about our relationship. On my second day of work I cried nearly the entire afternoon because I was so worried Zach wasn’t excited to see me when I got home… I had been gone ALL DAY and he wasn’t happy when I got home? We’ve been so used to spending so much time together that I was so worried we’d drift apart and he’d resent me for taking a full-time job, or I’d resent him because he got to be a full-time student. I had to realize that Zach was having a hard time adjusting, too, but he was processing it a different way. Thank goodness this phase didn’t last long and things are back to our normal. I love waking up to him every morning, cooking dinner together, and starting new Netflix series. Our lives and schedules have changed but Zach is still my sweet, supportive guy that surprises me with little gifts on our kitchen table and cleans the kitchen before I get home. I just love him 🙂
In other news, I do like my job. Getting past the initial shock of ALL the information (90 day training, y’all… THREE months of training!) I had to take in was the worst part, but now I’m becoming much more familiar with all the terminology and procedures. I love the gals I work with, too! 🙂
So, I guess you could say we’re slowly adjusting. I do not regret taking this position because we’re living in our new little place so comfortably. I couldn’t imagine NOT taking this job and struggling to build a business and collect a paycheck from it… Right now, that’s just not where my business is and that’s OK. We’ve tried dedicating certain evenings to getting work done but we haven’t been super successful. I think with a little more time, we’ll get used to things and setting aside time to work won’t be so bad.
What We’re Trying Next….
- Making Lists. I think if I write things down, I’m better about getting them done. So, if I have a list of things to do when I get home, I’ll be better about making sure I actually do them.
- Planning Out Dinner. We LOVE our crockpot!! We’re just not used to planning out dinner 😉 We often forget to plan something out for dinner, which usually means we take a lot of time deciding on what eat come dinner time, which also cuts into working time! I think if we plan dinner a little better, we’ll have more time to work.
- Learning NOT to compare. This really has nothing to do with how we’re adjusting. Instead, it’s just something I need to learn in general, but this past month it has bothered me the most. I haven’t been spending as much time on my business, so instead, I’ve been comparing myself to other photographers and feeling so horrible and down about it. I need to learn to stop comparing my life to other’s that have completely different stories than I do. We’re all in different places in our businesses!
So, if you’re going through a big change in your life, or you can relate to this new season of our lives, I get it!!! Adjusting to change hasn’t been the easiest, but we’re learning that it’s going to be just fine. Confide in your friends, your significant other, your family, write it out! I promise that in time things will work out!
I’m cheering you on, friend!!!